I have been going to school, as usual. I have been at my robotics competition (awesome fun, involving building a robot and competing against other people in a game type thing). And I have been spending lots of time with my boyfriend, who really is pretty amazing, he would pretty much do anything for me (including piercing his nipple and growing mutton chops).

Yeah, life has been pretty good to me. I'm so much happier then I have been in a long time, the depression has subsided completely.

I'm having trouble trying to explain what I mean, but I'm going to try. Sometimes I feel like people don't believe love can happen when you're 16, like you have to have plenty of life experience before you can love.

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A while ago, I did some uh...questionable things with my boyfriend. And while I regret nothing, it's just weird...

I feel a little less pure, but I'm not guilty. I think it's just how I would hear people talking about stuff, and it was never me, and I never expected it to be me. So to all of a sudden it is me, it just seems rather incredible still.

And before anyone starts lecturing me, I am still a virgin, and yes I know it only takes one time to get pregnant.

Well, over the last months I have gone through a large depression. Not a new thing for me, but this one involved the first break up I have ever gone through.

I know some of you say "Well, it will happen many more times sweetheart, get used to it," I feel like I have right to be pretty upset about this one. I loved my boyfriend a lot, probably more than healthy considering I didn't have anyone else for a long time. We did everything together, and while the relationship never got farther than kisses, he knew me better than anyone else. He was my best friend and always there for more, but at the end of this summer, I started seeing less of him. He had made amends with friends that he had been fighting with and was with them 6 out of 7 days in the week. Needless to say, that made me unhappy, because I still didn't have much of anyone. We began fighting because he didn't see any reason why it would upset me and he always would always accuse me of being jealous. And maybe I was in some rights, but not the way he would put it.

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Well, over the past months I have been sleeping, and playing multiple mmorpg's. Cause I'm cool like that. I have not been on Manga Punk due to laziness and an extremely forgetful mind. Kind of strange around here....I don't see many of the same people. Is Joey still around? She better be.

It's been quite awhile. The really only thing that has happened since my absence was that I bought a new laptop.

So...how is everyone?

Today's mt birthday!!! Fifteen years old! :D

I really love my boyfriend. He is my bestfriend and he knows it. We get along really well, but sometimes I feel like we're only friends. I was at his house last night and we basically hung out with his sisters friends. I mean, it's not the worse night of my life, but it's like he refuses to touch me. I was there for six hours and I didn't hug him. I just don't understand, is he waiting for me to approach him or does he just not want any physical contact?

So, I'm selling my lovely iBook G4 to put the cash towards something that I can put games on.

I thought I would just put it up here in case any of you were looking.

Basic specs:
12" screen
512 MB ram (but I'm selling it with an extra 256 that I haven't installed yet!)
1.33 GHz
Bluetooth
WiFi card (connect anywhere that has wireless internet)
and I'm including a seventy dollar mouse that connects with bluetooth (wireless)

Yeah, so I'm selling it for about $650, but I'm still thinking on the price.

I'm basically posting this to show my extreme love of the game. I play it all the time, it's like WoW without the server fees.

I am a level 20 Necromancer/Ranger with a Level 14 White Tiger pet.

I love this game...the story is cool and the battles and spells and stuff rock.

Yeah, so if any of you are on Factions:

Add me.
Miyavi Karasu

I like helping random people, it makes me feel useful. ^^

I hate this. I just f*cking hate this.

I feel like crying all the time. The most simple things will make me go crazy. When I'm not with people I feel like I'm going insane. Anyone who has suffered from depression knows what I mean.

I have an appointment for Wednesday...they will put me on an anti-depressants again. I don't care though...because I can't f*cking live like this.