Don't kill yourself. He's a dude. There will be more dudes. You're young--you may be smart, but you lack experience. You have a lot left to experience before judging anyone as worthy of your life. Don't let some whiny, unforgiving little boy mess it all up for you.

For the love of God, dear, have some more self-respect.

First of all... I love you, Joey. <3 Bluntness is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Secondly, he's no longer mad at me, so that's not the issue. Even if he were, you know I wouldn't even CONSIDER this without making a more direct effort towards earning forgiveness. This is more of a compound of events... I don't know, I feel like I'm going no where and I'm not going to be able to accomplish anything I'd like to. Not that I'm very driven to accomplish much nowadays. x__o

I'm not blaming any religion, but that brief rape-of-Buddhism in History might have been the grain of salt to tip the scale. That lesson WAS back when he was mad at me, and it kind of stuck. Again, I'm not blaming it. It really was a rape introduction. All we learned is that, according to Buddha, everything is impermanent and that nothing lasts forever. It really depressed me, and to be honest, I'm scared. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of what might happen to me in the future. I can't control it, and that isn't exactly the most thrilling realization I could come upon. Especially at that time.

I'm just really unsure. And scared. =/

*~*~*

Your Money or Your Life,
<3 Lexy

You're like the ocean. Pretty enough on the surface, but dive down into your depths, and you'll find beauty most people never see.

Your future is (for the most part) decided by every choice you make today. Make better choices if you're so scared. That's my advice.

I'm trying to. >.<

*~*~*

Your Money or Your Life,
<3 Lexy

You're like the ocean. Pretty enough on the surface, but dive down into your depths, and you'll find beauty most people never see.

It's okay to be scared, I guess. That's just opne of our human emotions...

Most people can't control the future.

I'm scare of the future, but right now, what's best is to go on living. I mean, what good will it do to you if you're dead?

What if something GOOD happens in the future?

Don't give up hope, Lexy.

---
Brilliant.
---
Shameless plugging, hurray!

I understand your pain. And not in that scary, psycho-theraputic way. I used to be suicidal in third grade. All I can say to you? Wait it out. It took me years, and a new situation to become truly happy. It may take you longer. But you have to see how it turns out. You've paid your money for the ride, why not go through? Besides, you have a huge support team, right here.

Don't let the blues get you down. Try concentrating on something else, as hard as it is, and if only for a few moments you'll feel better about everything. Keep building up those experiances.

About that boy I caught you and Joey talking over? I'd give him a good roughing-up for you any day.

.:suzu-chan/killijoy/Joeys Cupcake:.
.:"No time for goodbyes," he said, as he faded away. "It's hard to imagine, but one day you'll end up like me." Then he said, "If you want to stay alive, hold on for your life.":.

Thanks, Killi. *hugsss*

*~*~*

Your Money or Your Life,
<3 Lexy

You're like the ocean. Pretty enough on the surface, but dive down into your depths, and you'll find beauty most people never see.

*Huggles back*

.:suzu-chan/killijoy/Joeys Cupcake:.
.:"No time for goodbyes," he said, as he faded away. "It's hard to imagine, but one day you'll end up like me." Then he said, "If you want to stay alive, hold on for your life.":.