It appears that I can't edit blogs.

Anyway, on Saturday my crying fits led to a short-lived but painful fight between Sam and me that I still feel strange about. He's convinced that he depresses me because I seek him out when I'm depressed and start going into terrible convulsive sobs that confuse and scare him. And I feel bad for leaning on him all the time when he's still recovering from his own illness. It wouldn't be so awful if he depended on me as much as I depended on him, but he's always been too private and too proud for that kind of thing. Besides, he might be afraid of putting any burdens on me. Maybe he does depress me in a way... It makes me sick to think of the way I cling to him and cry on his shoulder and make desperate, awkward attempts to express how I feel. I'm just not sure what else to do.

The start of the final quarter was today, and I need to concentrate on getting perfect grades because my third quarter grades were sub-par. I've never really been a perfectionist or even a very hard worker but I'm really afraid of not getting into any colleges that I like (not that I'm even sure what I like). So right now my feelings don't matter much as long as I can stamp them down enough to get all of my work done.

Pull down the future with the one you love.
~Television.

Ooh, rough.

I can see why your still going with the "I suck" thing. Wow, number 5 now...

I repeat, you do not suck. You are special in your own special way.

But that won't help you one bit. Here, I know your not new/back from a long absence, but I am now throwing a pack of easy-mac in your face and givign you a super chocolate cookie. You need it. :)

Happy thoughts, hairballed cat, happy thoughts...

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Kat, you do NOT suck.

Do you want me to whack you?

.:suzu-chan/killijoy/Joeys Cupcake:.
.:"No time for goodbyes," he said, as he faded away. "It's hard to imagine, but one day you'll end up like me." Then he said, "If you want to stay alive, hold on for your life.":.