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Never good enough!!

akumuko's picture
akumuko - Monday, March 20, 2006 - 12:52

I've been talking to a really old friend that I've become reacquainted with after six years of not knowing where each ohter was or how we were doing. I dated her back in highschool and you know how highschool realtionships can be, one minute your in "love" and the next your dating some one else or you've been left behind the latter was always my mo. But things between us just went unfinished she moved away and I graduated.

We met again by chance and almost missed each other had we not took a second glance back in each other's direction. We have once again gotten close and talk constantly. It's not going to fast or even hardly at all but she wants more and I'm for it but only at a steady and responsible pace.

Just recently she keeps bringing up how she has all this baggage and how she doesn't deserve such a nice guy and I'm to good for her. She might as well tell me I'm not worth a bag of dog crap and spit in my face. Why wouldn't anyone deserve someone nice instead of a asshole in a string of guys she is just going to be dealing with in the future. And it isn't that I would deal with her baggage, I accept her baggage and understand that she just like everyone else isn't perfect and has issues and problems. But on top of all of this she will say things like she want to be right for me before we go any futher and how much she want to be with me at the same time.

I am sick and tired of being told I'm not good enough in a nice way and then she will flip flop later on , because frankly to my ears thats all I hear.

Your's truly Confucked

Prie

-I met Mr.Fantastic at a Arms Deal...- MF DOOM

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Rachel the Great's picture

Offspring time!

Rachel the Great; Monday, March 20, 2006 - 14:41

"Issues" by the Offspring. So true. Never bring your baggage to a new relationship.

She must be saying these things because:

A. She needs an excuse not to get in any deeper. You're not unconsciously pressuring her for sexual relations are you? A lot of guys do that without realizing it, and if the woman isn't ready, well, some of us have confusing ways of showing it. She may want to put the blame for unreadiness on herself rather than on you out of kindness or respect or fear.

B. She really isn't ready for that kind of relationship. Frankly, if she's not ready for a relationship, she shouldn't be dating. But, I have to remember that other females and males on this planet seem to think that they must be in a relationship of the good or bad kind constantly to be worth anything.

C. She has issues. She's one of those girls who constantly dates an asshole who treats her like shit. As much as you try to convince her that it'll work between you, there is the chance in the future that she will leave for a bully. Let us pray she is not that stupid. What you can do to avoid this is be sincere. Tell her how much you like her and go the extra mile to say "thanks" and hold the door and reaffirm that she is important to you. If she starts "I'm not good enough"-ing, just tell her that she is not you, so she cannot possibly know what is good enough for YOU, and she's just going to have to get used to it.

The trick will be figuring out which of these it is. Always follow the guidelines in #3, no matter who you are with or for how long. And check yourself to make sure you aren't pressuring her for anything, knowingly or otherwise. Afterall, if she cannot possibly know you, you cannot possibly know her or why exactly she feels the way she does.

Low-selfesteem is such a bitch. *sigh* Good luck on working it out. Be careful!

****
I live under a bridge.

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akumuko's picture

Sex is of no importance to

akumuko; Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 01:25

Sex is of no importance to me. I don't need it to be in a realationship. So no I'm not pressuring her for that I don't want that from her , I just want her but not in a sexual way.

I gave up today and asked her what's the deal. She said is going thur rough times and she isn't use to anyone being there for her( that's what she told me anyway) and she doesn't expect me to stick around. WTF If I haven't left yet I'm not going to!!!

-I met Mr.Fantastic at a Arms Deal...- MF DOOM

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Rachel the Great's picture

Oh, well, that is good to

Rachel the Great; Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 02:48

Oh, well, that is good to hear (that you're not pressuring her). I wasn't sure what you meant.

What can I say... Women are messed up. I should know. I'm one of them!

****
I live under a bridge.

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